The idea that there is one other special person who is a perfect fit for you is very attractive. It allows you to feel the specialness and uniqueness of your love and the sacredness of the bond you have with the one you love. It proclaims to the world and to yourself that this is the One for You, the right, timeless, and everlasting Love of Your Life. As a result, you give yourself permission to commit yourself completely and...
27
Sep
Some words put you in the Drama Triangle, whether you speak them or think them. You can’t use them and stay out of the Drama Triangle. You can’t use them and have inner peace. They are to be avoided. Words that put you in the role of victim “Can’t”“Can’t” puts you into the role of victim because it says, “I am powerless, unable, helpless.” Do not use it. If you do, you will not only be telling yourself, “I am a victim,”...
27
Sep
Do you recognize who is in this picture? That’s Smeagol in his pre-Gollum days, when he just found the One Ring in Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings. Is he joyful and happy? You bet! Emotions are a common and powerful way most people keep themselves stuck in the Drama Triangle. FearFear is generally viewed as a persecuting emotion. People want to avoid it. Do you view fear as a persecuting emotion? When you feel scared or anxious, what do you usually do? If...
27
Sep
What is the relationship between the three basic states of consciousness, waking, dreaming, and deep sleep? All sorts of world views are based on them. We think of sickness or a calamity like the 2008 market crash or global warming as “wake-up calls.” The implication is that we were asleep or dreaming. We wake up into romance, only in retrospect to often view it as a dream-like delusion. What were we thinking? We were asleep – unconscious! These three states...
27
Sep
Peggy Noonan, once a speech writer for Reagan and a conservative and Catholic, wrote an editorial (http://bit.ly/9kR8EK) about the crisis in the Catholic Church which was forwarded to me. In it she argues that the presence of women in leadership roles in the Church would have prevented pedophilia from occurring. While women in the higher ranks would have undoubtedly made a huge difference toward reducing the crisis in her Church, Wilber’s levels of development indicate that anyone of any gender...
27
Sep
Dream Politics looks at power as a function and tool of the evolving self. It sees interior and external sources of power as mirroring one another, reflecting and reinforcing one another. Attempting to discern which is prior and most important is a waste of time and energy; it is like asking, “Are the interior or the external quadrants of the human holon most important?” “Are the individual or the collective quadrants of the human holon most important?” Since all these...
27
Sep
Democracy and the Evolution of Consciousness In a democracy, “deliberation is necessary so that collectively-intelligent decisions are created instead of dumb politics. Neutral, objective, quality information is the basis for solid deliberation. Curating information — sorting out intellectual quality and truth claims or communicating across boundaries — is akin to governance through deliberation.“ Deliberative mechanisms for making decisions weigh consequences and balance trade offs. A lack of deliberation means that unmediated participation and information enhance governance by the “dumb mob” of...
27
Sep
People who project negativity typically have low self-esteem. They feel badly about themselves, and their negativity is simply a reflection of those feelings. HENDRIE WEISINGER, The Power of Positive Criticism Strictly speaking, negativity is not a cognitive distortion, but it is so fundamental, in that it supports all cognitive distortions, and it is so pervasive, in that it is found in all cognitive distortions, that it deserves special attention. Negativity is not necessarily a sign of irrationality, pessimism, cynicism, or any particular...
27
Sep
War is a social manifestation of the role of persecutor in the three realms of interpersonal, personal, and intrapersonal realities. To look at the justifications for war is to look at the justifications for the persecutor role in the Drama Triangle. The concept of social roles in interpersonal conflict is derived from the domain of Transactional Analysis (Berne 1961), a choice-based approach to therapy that evaluates the dynamics of relationships (transactions) to move from inauthenticity and dysfunction to intimacy and...
27
Sep
Your world view isn’t everything, but it’s close. The assumptions that you make about what’s real, why you’re alive, and how you should relate to other people tell who you are, determine who you will be and what sort of a mark you’ll make on the world. Your world view is that important. Historically, most people never question or outgrow the world view they grew up with. They think like their parents, family, and culture do. Blessed is the person who...
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