The following provides an excellent example of how your inner compass does not discriminate between night time dreams and waking life the way that you do. It is a dream of drowning based on a real life near drowning by Ingrid, a six year old girl at the beginning of World War II in Germany. In this case, the dream of being submerged in the water merges with the waking dream of almost drowning. From the perspective of Ingrid’s inner compass, both realms are equally opportunities to stimulate growth through wake-up calls. Both dreaming and waking life are equally opportunities for us to grow into a greater identity through listening to and growing into a broader sense of who we are.

There is also considerable help in this interview for understanding dreams of water, how threat is often misperceived, the impact of enculturation, and how needless, avoidable fears can be carried around for decades because of a mistaken perception of life and dream events.

As a child Ingrid thought almost drowning was punishment for disobeying her mother and sneaking out and going swimming. She has been afraid of water ever since, although she loved it before this accident, and although during the experience of drowning itself she was not afraid.

Here is an interpretive summarization of the interview for Ingrid. Read it over as if it was meant for you, too. Then, if you want to understand the interview in more detail, you will find it below. Of course, an interview with your own water will have its own unique perspective and generate different recommendations, created especially for you.

There is a liquid, flowing part of yourself that you are separated from, that only experiences itself. It puts you in touch with infinity, nature, and a wider view of life. It is fluid and is constantly moving, and clear. Nothing disturbs this part of you. This is a neutral part of yourself.  It wants to stay clear and pure. Its power is to separate. It is abundant. It is very confident because it cannot die; it only transforms. All life comes out of this part of yourself.

This is a part of yourself that is not very compassionate. Perhaps you have to become less “socially” compassionate before you can recognize and create real compassion. To find life happiness and contentment it recommends that you care more about yourself and becoming one with yourself. For health, it encourages you to drink at least two liters of water a day.  It is a part of you that does not think about needing a lot of money but just having enough.  It recommends you focus on stopping doing things that pollute your body or mind. Consider the possibility of polluting thoughts, feelings, and relationships not just actions, like what you eat. Avoid putting conflictual things into yourself, such as you do when you argue with yourself or waste energy feeling angry. Don’t disturb your inner peace with  activities that take advantage of it!

This is a part of yourself that usually respects natural limits and boundaries and doesn’t waste much energy in feelings of separation. It recommends that you become it when you want to increase your confidence, because it scores higher in confidence than you do. Doing so will allow you to be more neutral and to have less compassion, which will allow you to focus on yourself and find your own inner peace. It considers itself worth your trust. It can, will, and does support you, but to know that you have to take the first step toward trusting it. Trust your daughter Claudia to help you grow in confidence to trust this part of yourself. (Claudia has years of experience in teaching people to be comfortable in the ocean snorkeling. She leads dolphin excursions to Bimini, in the Bahamas.)

It is telling you that as a child you did not feel seen, acknowledged, or loved by your mother or your sister. You weren’t looking for them to rescue you from this part of yourself, but simply to be recognized for who you were. You were as clear about that as you could be.

From the perspective of the water, almost drowning had nothing to do with punishment or disobedience. It also becomes clear that the water was not attempting to scare you or kill you either. It was simply being itself.

Every time you read over this interview you will strengthen your contact with your own sense of who you are. You will internalize its confidence and move toward a healthier balance between compassion for others and love of yourself.  Practice becoming the water whenever you want to feel more confident and trust yourself more.

The Interview, from which the above remarks are derived:

How can that long ago life event and repetitive dream help Ingrid heal her fear of the water today? We start, as always, by making the questioning process as practical and useful as possible by asking Ingrid to share three life issues that affect her today.

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

Life happiness – contentment; to stay that way

Health for me and my family

Money – enough to take care of needs; not necessarily to be rich

Tell me a dream you remember.  It can be an old one, a repetitive dream, a nightmare, or one that you’re sure you understand.

When I was six years old I had started school. It was at the beginning of WW II in Germany. I liked to go swimming at a public swimming pool. My mother didn’t allow me to go that afternoon. I don’t know why. But I took my swimming suit and a little money and went alone. I always went there alone. We played tag in the water and I was moving very fast. My feet slipped on the ground and I fell over on my back. I couldn’t get my feet under me to stand up.  I swallowed a lot of water. The girl that was after me in the game was the only one that saw that I was in trouble. She took me out of the water and put me under a warm shower. At home, during the night I couldn’t sleep because I hadn’t obeyed. I wanted to tell my mother what had happened; I told her I almost drowned that afternoon. After that I often had the dream that I was lying on the floor of the swimming pool with clear water above me. I saw  my mother and sister walking past. I tried to stretch my arm out so that they could see me but the water was just too deep to reach out of the water. They never saw me. I repetitively had that dream. I forgot all about that story and that dream for years.

Why do you think that you had this dream?

There was a feeling of being separated from my mother and my sister. I didn’t have fear when I was drowning. At that moment I knew that everything was over, that it was the end. It wasn’t fear but I was conscious of the end of life.

That’s interesting, because whenever you tell of your fear of water you tell that story!

I think I may have felt that I was punished for disobeying my mother. But I loved to go into the water before that. I was called “Water Rat!” After that, I thought everyone in the world knew how to swim but me. Before a holiday to Italy when I was a young adult I was wondering whether to get an inflatable swimming suit, so no one would notice I could not swim. But instead I decided to take swimming lessons before the holiday. I went there every day for several weeks. My teacher had me jump off a one meter board, which was very scary. All the men at the pool were watching me, so I forced myself to jump and swim to the edge. I thought I was the only one in the world that couldn’t swim! When I went to Italy I was not scared of the water and actually even went in when there were waves.

If one character had something especially important to tell you, what would it be?

Water!

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are this or that character in your dream and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

Water, are you a character in Ingrid’s dream and life, yes?

Yes!

Water, look out at the world from your perspective and tell us what you see…

I only experience myself – liquid!

Water, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

I move to and fro. Sometimes there is wind and I’ll be a little higher and not like a mirror. I’m used to all these different states. Nothing disturbs that. My movement is very important to me.

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

That I can jump and move! I can take things away! I can make things like wood move. It’s like being in neutral. I’m not aware that fish need me to live. I haven’t thought about that until now.

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

That I’m getting polluted!

Water, you are in Ingrid’s life experience, correct?  She created you, right?  Water, what aspect of Ingrid do you represent or most closely personify?

Danger, but not really…I have the power to separate.

Water, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

I would like to stay as I am. I have power. My power is to separate. I am deep enough. There’s plenty of me.

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

(Character), how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing?  Why?

Confidence: 8 Because I’m everywhere! When I evaporate I come down as water again! I don’t vanish!

Compassion: 3 My compassion is not very developed…

Wisdom: 7 I have a lot of experience; I’m very old. All life comes out of me. That makes me proud but also powerful. I don’t care whether people get drowned…

Acceptance: 6

Inner Peace: 8 Nothing upsets me. I am as I am!

Witnessing: 6

Water, if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

I don’t think I’d be much different.

How would Ingrid’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?

I don’t think she would be much different.

If you could live Ingrid’s life for her, how would you live it differently?

Maybe I would concentrate more on my compassion for life around me. Ingrid’s compassion is higher than mine.

If you could live Ingrid’s waking life for her today, would you handle her three life issues differently?  If so, how?

Life happiness – contentment; to stay that way.

You can only be happy if you’re one with yourself. That she will care more about herself. It could be more!

Health for me and my family

With the help of drinking at least two liters of water a day! Her body is mostly made out of me!

Money – enough to take care of needs; not necessarily to be rich

As water I don’t have to think about money. Just having enough!

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of her life?

1. Pollution of myself! Ending it!

2. It’s important to me that the circle of life remains undisturbed and that humans stop stirring me up by putting all sorts of weapons and military systems inside of me.

3. I don’t like people treasure hunting in me. I want my peace, please!

Do you feel separated from anything, Water?

I feel separated from land. Sometimes I go and try to catch some. So people build dams.

If you were Ingrid, how would you handle this issue of separation. Like she does, or differently?

I wouldn’t do anything! I did everything I could towards it.

Ingrid has had a fear of you in her life, Water. How would you handle that fear if you were her?

I could offer to have her try to be in me to gain confidence.

Why should she trust you? You’re imaginary!

I support her! I could show her that I am able to carry her. She has to try it first to gain that confidence.

Do you think Ingrid could or should trust her daughter, who has taught many people to be confident in water?

Definitely, yes.

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Ingrid to imagine that she is you and act as you would?

Not to care so much; to be more neutral.  It would help Ingrid to not have too much compassion.

Why do you think that Ingrid had those dreams when she was a child?

She wanted to be seen, to be acknowledged! It wasn’t about needing to be rescued!

Why do you think that you are in Ingrid’s life?

She likes me. She likes the sea. It has no limits! The infinity to the horizon. I can show her or give her that. Reflections of the sky and the clouds. I can show her a wider view.

I think her mother and daughter did not acknowledge her in her dream because…

She did not feel loved by her mother and her sister.

What have you heard yourself say?

I remember that I don’t care that much what’s happening around me as water.  I don’t care about anything, really.  Water said I want to have a relationship with it. I feel like water is trying to make for a relationship with me. It’s a difficult relationship, it seems…

Water, do you think it is a difficult relationship with Ingrid?

Not for me. It’s because Ingrid doesn’t trust me.

Water, were you punishing Ingrid because she disobeyed her mother?

Definitely not! I’m neutral! I witness!

Water, why do you think Ingrid had a strong urge to tell her mother she ha disobeyed her, gone swimming, and almost drowned?

Because she experienced fear and wanted to be comforted.

Water, how do you feel about Ingrid not trusting you?

It’s a pity! All I can do is wait, be patient! You can’t force anything! Try and find out for yourself! If she comes to me I can show her I can carry her and support her. That’s the first step!

If this experience were a wake-up call from your inner compass, what do you think it would be saying to you?

I’ve always lacked confidence. Maybe the waking call is, “Go and try it!” The water is very clear. The water tried everything it could to support me and be clear. Those two couldn’t see me. Maybe there is something wrong with them.

When everyone in the dream is a part of you it means that there are two parts of yourself (mother and sister) that don’t see you. The issue is that you are not recognizing or acknowledging a part or parts of yourself that want and need to be seen, accepted, and made part of your life.

Do you ever feel like a victim?  Do you ever feel like you are being unfairly attacked?  All of us are victimized; all of us do get unfairly attacked.  So how can we stay out of drama? How can we keep happy, joyous, at peace in the face of injustice?

Could the solution be as simple as becoming like a heron, standing on one foot, gazing into the water?  For Claudia, that’s an important part of the answer. Try it!  Perhaps Claudia’s heron can help you too!

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

1. How can I eat more chocolate without becoming fat?

2. How can I smoke more without developing lung cancer?

3. How can I become less critical sounding?  Not so pessimistic?

Tell me a dream you remember.  It can be an old one, a repetitive dream, a nightmare, or one that you’re sure you understand.

Shadie and Dayo were attacked by a mafia-type guy.  The man came with a shovel and Dayo ran.  Shadie laid there and is cut by the shovel.  I cry for help…An old lady takes me in her house and gives me tea. She is having a little tea-party-blether. The phone rings.  It’s for me.  The message is that my mother is in the hospital dying.  I feel that I am in the dramas of the dog, the superficiality of this old ladie’s circle, and my mother.

Dayo and Shadie:

Why do you think that you had this dream?

It’s like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder!  I kept losing things in my nightmares that I love.  This is a repetitive theme in my dreams.  I think I have them because my dogs have been ill.  I’ve been very worried about them.

If this dream were playing at a theater, what name would be on the marquee?

Drama!

These are the characters in the dream, beside yourself…

Two dogs, the shovel, a man that knows that he can hurt me when he hurts what I love, the old lady, mother in the hospital, street, house

If one character had something especially important to tell you, what would it be?

Shadie.  I have the strongest feelings for him….

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are this or that character in your dream and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

Shadie, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

I have had my head bashed in by the shovel.  There is blood all over.  I am dead and I am not dead because I am a dream dog.  I’m just alive.  I don’t feel good.  This is Claudia’s dream, that something bad always happens to me, and I don’t like it!

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

I stay in a good mood.

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

I am so passive when the man came and attacked me.

Shadie, you are in Claudia’s life experience, correct?  She created you, right?  Shadie, what aspect of Claudia do you represent or most closely personify?

The part that always gets hit over the head!

Shadie, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

No! Claudia would change it, but I don’t!  It’s equal.  It doesn’t matter.  It’s aggression.  Either I get my head bashed in or someone has my teeth in his throat.  But I can’t be bothered to attack.  Claudia would love me to kill him, but I can’t be bothered.

What would happen next if the dream were to go on?

I am dead, Claudia brings me away from the street, and Claudia is very sad. I would become a white Heron because I can stand passively and look at the water. If you can wait for half a day, I might say something.  I’m just standing here.

Shall I continue to speak to Shadie or the Heron?

I have had enough of this blood!  I will be the heron!

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

Heron, you are in Claudia’s life experience, correct?  She created you, right?  Shadie, what aspect of Claudia do you represent or most closely personify?

It’s a part that can stand on one foot all day and look at the water and only move when it sees a fish~! I represent her equanimity.

Heron, how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing?  Why?

Confidence: 10 A fish always comes by!

Compassion: 10  5  for me, 5 for the fish!

Wisdom: 10  I know where the best fish are.

Acceptance:      Sure!

Inner Peace:  9 Also on one foot!

Witnessing:  8 I stay very calm and see everything.

Heron, if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

When I have a ten in compassion I become a vegetarian!  Or I will have to say a prayer before and after meals! In the other things, it doesn’t matter…

How would Claudia’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?

Her problem is that she has a compassion of ten!

Do you think it would be good if she had less compassion??

During the dramas, drink a tea!  She is suffering with so many things all the time!

Do you think that the suffering of others makes her become like Shadie?

No, she is suffering with Shadie.  It’s best for her to go to the sea and look at the water and not suffer with others.  If she was a ten in all things she wouldn’t look at dolphins and other things getting killed on the TV after days with already enough drama.

If you could live Claudia life for her, how would you live it differently?

I would meditate more on one foot and look on the water!  After half a day, change feet!

If you could live Claudia’s waking life for her today, would you handle her three life issues differently?  If so, how?

1. How can I eat more chocolate without becoming fat? I eat only fish and don’t get fat!  Ask a nutritional expert!

2. How can I smoke more without developing lung cancer? There is a man in a boat that always smokes who doesn’t feel well because he is always coughing.  I’m not the expert for this because I don’t smoke.  The Heron says, “STOP IT!”  How do you go about stopping? You start!   The inner pathologist can tell you about lungs and smoking…

What would help to stop it?

To BEGIN!

3. How can I become less critical sounding?  Not so pessimistic?

Are you critical, Heron?  Are you pessimistic?

Why should I be?

Is Claudia so critical?

No, she is self-critical. She criticizes herself for not saving enough lives and not doing enough to protect others from getting hurt or dying.  She suffers and is empathetic.

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of her life?

1. To stand on one foot and look at the water – that’s all!

2. Not to forget to get on the other foot when the one becomes cold!

3. Always look in the water.  Always remember that I am here….

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Claudia to imagine that she is you and act as you would?

Always at the right time. Whenever the drama is too much and her balance is threatened.

Heron, do you do drama?  If not, why not?

No!  Too boring!

I thought drama was exciting?

Oh yeah?

What is your secret for staying out of drama?

It’s always the same, isn’t it?  If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.  You look in the other direction!  Don’t place yourself in the middle of drama! No TV!  But she doesn’t need to follow all my advice.

Why do you think that you are in Claudia’s life?

To show her that there are other things in life besides drama.

How is Claudia most likely to ignore what you are saying to her?

By saying I’m just fantasy?

Aren’t you?

What’s reality?  Who knows?

What would you recommend that she do about that?

Realizing that SHE just might be fantasy!

Why would she want to do that?

To put things into proper relationship.

I think Claudia had this dream because…

Because she only sees one side of reality and that’s suffering and death.

Why does she does that?

That’s what she’s learned.  You lose what you love.  What you love gets killed, gets run over, dies.

What do you think about what she’s learned, Heron?

That’s part of the truth.  The other part is life.  Being alive, standing on one foot, waiting for a fish.  You don’t know what I think and where I go in my mind when I’m standing here, gazing in the water.  Other people can’t stand on TWO legs, let alone one!

I think this dream event happened or (some character) was in the dream because…

To scare herself, to hurt herself.

Why would she want to do that?

Because that’s what she’s used to…

What have you heard yourself say?

To be in absolute balance is the most important thing.  There is a part inside of me that is very calm, in balance, and doesn’t get in drama.

If this experience were a wake-up call from the most central part of who you are, what do you think it would be saying to you?

Stand often on one foot!  Maintain balance!  Self-confidence.  Concentration.

“You have a part of yourself that can stand on one foot and it is good for maintaining your inner sense of balance in your life.  You have a part that can choose not to suffer but to be in balance.  There are always enough dramas in the world; it’s important to be in balance.”

It’s important to find a part of myself that can stand still, balance, and look into the water. Perhaps it is important to take this yoga position before the water!  It’s important to feel myself as a heron in my normal life when people are into drama.

What would be the subject for the next interview regarding this dream?

Nobody.  It’s only important to get out of the drama.  The best thing would be to get out while Claudia is dreaming….

What did you hear Heron say?

That he’s getting tired of being asked all these questions.  He wants to get back to the water!

Practically: Don’t waste much time with dreaming dreams of victimization.  Look for a way out of the drama!  The Shadie part of myself was bored by the same thing happening.  I’m victimizing myself in the dream, Shadie in the dream, my mother in the dream because she also dies, I victimize the man because I want to kill him.  I victimize the Dayo part of myself because he gets scared.  It’s almost like these other parts of oneself are bored by it all and only get into the drama because we want them to in our dreams…

Notice that Claudia is slowly waking up. She is seeing her life dramas of suffering and victimization as self-created repetitive boredom that persecutes the other parts of herself that have to show up to play these tired, melodramatic roles.  Ideally, she will learn to wake up in dreams, to realize what she is doing, and stop it.

Some IDL dream interviews emphasize healing.  Others emphasize balance. Others emphasize transformation.  This one emphasizes all three.

What does a useful lucid dream look like?  The following dream, which has a lucid portion, may change or expand your thoughts on the purposes of dream lucidity. The lucidity itself is not of particular benefit in the dream because it is neither understood by the dreamer, nor does it accomplish anything of lasting value.  In fact, its inability to create lasting change is itself an important part of its function. (Comments follow the interview…Feel free to add your own!)

None of this is understood or appreciated until the dream is interviewed.  Without the interview, the significance of the lucidity, as well as the dream, are largely missed.  You can test this statement for yourself.  Read over the following dream and make your best guess as to what it is about and what the significance is of the lucidity.  It would be best if you wrote down your interpretation/prediction so that you can’t go back later and say, after you have read the interview, “That’s what I thought all along!”  Either you wrote it and you knew or you didn’t write it and you didn’t know.  Fair enough?

Tell me a dream you remember.  It can be an old one, a repetitive dream, a nightmare, or one that you’re sure you understand.

I was on a small property, all very green. There were two very big, bright red geckos with black triangles on their backs.  Very big, very fleshy, but they were kind!  I wasn’t afraid of them.  In the dream I thought, ”Amazing!  How beautiful they are!  How fascinating!”  I think I had my cell phone in my hand.  One of these lizards sprang up and had a tooth like my shark’s tooth hanging out of his mouth.  He went for this cell phone but he scratched my wrist in the process. In my dream I looked at this cut.  It didn’t even bleed.  I thought, “That’s not a big cut.”  I kept walking and every now and then I would look at my hand.  The cut opened up more and more, each time I looked at it.  I could see my flesh, my arteries and veins. My whole wrist opened up until I could look down at the bone.

In the dream I then told myself that this was a dream. “I am dreaming this!”  I was trying to shake this wrist injury off.  I was sitting in the green grass, telling myself, “I’m just dreaming this.”  Then the injury was gone.  Sitting in this grass, I looked around myself and said,”I’m still not awake…”  Then I looked at my wrist and the wound had returned!  I thought, “Oh no!  It’s disgusting!”  “What‘s happening here?”  Why is this wound on my wrist?”  I woke up shaking my wrist and trying to get rid of the wound again!

So, before you read any further, write down what this dream would be about if you had it.  What would be the significance of the episode of lucidity?

Why do you think that you had this dream?

This one I’ve been kept busy thinking about for the last week and a half.  I haven’t written it down because it’s so disgusting… It was the night after I got this shark tooth present from Claudia…I think it was disgusting!  There was a fear that my hand might fall off.  A fear of being disabled.  This was my left hand.

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

1. Further training to become a sauna master. I am hoping I’ll be granted this training by the authorities.  I’ll be told tomorrow whether this has been financed for me.

2. Amy, my daughter.  I would love to be able to support my daughter regardless of her father to become more self confident and do things on her own.  Her father won’t allow her to do things on her own.  Instead of protecting her he’s making her incapable of dealing with life.

3. I will not concentrate on Bob this time. The issue is my family.  The second time my mother tried to contact me by Skype and for the second time I blocked her, but with a bad feeling.

If this dream were playing at a theater, what name would be on the marquee?

The Opening Wound

These are the characters in the dream, beside yourself…

Geckos, Grass, Property, Cell Phone, Hand, Wound

If one character had something especially important to tell you, what would it be?

Hand

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teacher or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are this or that character in your dream and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

Hand, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

I look good, then I get hurt!  Then my cut becomes bigger and bigger!

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

That I can do so many things!  I can massage, I can cook, I can clean, I can touch, feel.

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

I don’t like my wound!  I can’t write.  Maybe that’s a weakness.

Hand, you are in Sara’s life experience, correct?  She created you, right?  Hand, what aspect of Sara do you represent or most closely personify?

The inner open wounds that Sara has.

Such as what, Hand?

Humiliation since childhood, the wounds that were caused by mother making Sara have a bad conscience all the time, feeling guilty all the time.  The wounds of silence, of (her mother) not speaking when she addressed the sexual abuse by her step-father.

Hand, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

I would just like to have my wound closed.  I want to be healthy and flexible without this wound.

Gecko, why did you jump up and attack Sara and open her wrist?

I don’t know what I was going for.  It was something in her hand that I thought she shouldn’t have in her hand.  I don’t think I was trying to hurt her…

But it doesn’t sound like you were successful…

Yes, I was!  I knocked it out of her hand!

What do you think about this wound that wouldn’t heal but kept opening, Gecko?

I think that’s strange!  I was gone, so I can’t tell you about the rest of the dream…

Gecko, why did you want to knock this telephone out of her hand?

It got on my nerves!

You’re a pretty irritable Gecko!  Why did it get on your nerves?

I was in the vicinity with my pal.  I was close to Sara and I felt very good.

So what got on your nerves? Was it the ringing?  Was it Sara’s mother’s calling?

Yes, very probably!

So are you implying that Sara shouldn’t be communicating with all people or only particular people?

Only particular people, like her family.

Who is getting on your tooth, Gecko? (In German, to get on your nerves is to “get on your tooth.”)

It is getting on her nerves that Sara has a guilty conscience about breaking off the contact with her mother and with her family.  It’s her family calling, saying that it may be the last chance Sara has of spending time with her mother before she dies!

What do you think of this message from Sara’s family, Gecko?

It makes me want to puke!

Hand, what do you think about what the Gecko just said?

He’s pretty right!

How do you feel about the Gecko wounding you now, Hand?  Worse?  The same?  Better?

Actually, I feel quite good about it at the moment!  I think that we sometimes need a real good kick, both I and Sara!

In what sense?

To really change things!

What do you think needs to be changed, Hand?

Both I, left hand, but also right hand, think Sara needs to stop having a guilty conscience.  Who knows when I will die? No reason to spend time with her mother just because she might die!   We need to take care of ourselves, more than ever.  That’s what Sara and I should do.  It does not mean becoming megalomaniac and selfish.

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

Hand, how would you score yourself 0-10, in confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, peace of mind, and witnessing?  Why?

Confidence: 10

Compassion: 10

Wisdom:   8

Acceptance: 10

Inner Peace: 10

Witnessing: 10

Hand, if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

There wouldn’t be a big difference…

How would Sara’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?

She would definitely have far more inner peace about everything….She has to stop this worrying about her mother, family, and daughter!  It’s not true compassion and love!  It’s an inner fighting with inner conscience and feelings of guilt!

If you could live Sara life for her, how would you live it differently?

She wouldn’t think about having a bad conscience. She wouldn’t listen to her family that tell her that she should spend time with her mother while she is still alive.

Gecko, what do you think of what the hand just said?

Perfect!  I couldn’t agree more! Fact is, Hand has to tell Sara these things and Sara has to put them into practice

If you could live Sara’s waking life for her today, would you handle her three life issues differently?  If so, how?

Further training to become a sauna master. I am hoping I’ll be granted this training by the authorities.  I’ll be told tomorrow whether this has been financed for me. I think it’s a great aim and a great job for me!Further training to become a sauna master. I am hoping I’ll be granted this training by the authorities.  I’ll be told tomorrow whether this has been financed for me. I think it’s a great aim and a great job for me!

What would you suggest Sara do if tomorrow she is turned down for further training?

I would just continue my job until Sara can finance it for herself!

Second life issue: Amy, my daughter.  I would love to be able to support my daughter regardless of her father to become more self confident and do things on her own.  Her father won’t allow her to do things on her own.  Instead of protecting her he’s making her incapable of dealing with life. Sara should take Amy by the hand and go see Claudia together!

Why, Hand?

Sara has been changing quite a lot. She has been mentioning Claudia in talks with Amy.  Amy gets this mirrored by other people too. Staying together at Kähnsdorf (Claudia’s country cabin) this summer was a very important time.

Third life issue: I will not concentrate on Bob this time. The issue is my family.  The second time my mother tried to contact me by Skype and for the second time I blocked her, but with a bad feeling. Keep still.  Do nothing!

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of her life?

I definitely support all these aims.  Bob does have some importance.

What would you concentrate on, Hand?

I give or I take without fear.  I can say,  “stop” without fear.  I think Sara can learn to do these things too.

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Sara to imagine that she is you and act as you would?

Where these three life issues are concerned!  If she becomes me in confrontations with Bob. Then she will find it easy to leave!

Gecko, in what life situations would it be most beneficial for Sara to imagine that she is you and act as you would?

Change into me when Bob announces that he is going to go on vacation with her and then takes his laptop along!  I would knock the laptop out of his hand!

Hand, do you do drama?  If not, why not?

No! Drama is tiring, superfluous, and doesn’t do anything for inner peace!

What is your secret for staying out of drama?

I am just a Hand, doing what I want to do!  I was the one who blocked two Skype calls in the last couple of day!

Why do you think that you are in Sara’s life in this dream with this wound that kept getting worse?

To show deep inner wounds that come to the surface now.

And what do you think Sara should do with these deep inner wounds now, Hand?

She’s working on them. She’s accepting them. She’s letting them be out in the open more and more!

How is Sara most likely to ignore what you are saying to her?

She doesn’t any longer!

I think Sara had this dream because

I think that some recent incidents have attached to these old wounds and made them come to the surface.   They became bigger because she contacted her mother herself because she wanted to take Amy to Lancerote (in the Canaries) over the holidays.  The response was to ask if Sara had a screw loose because Sara asked her mother to partly pay for her grand-daughter’s trip.  Sara’s mother said, I have enough money to go on holiday any time I like but if you ask me for money to go on holiday with your daughter, you won’t get a penny.”

The lucidity happened in the dream because…

It means that what is required is self-confidence and that the wounds can just close and heal.  The way I see Sara in the dream is that she is getting more self-confident so she can just shake off the dream of those wounds from her childhood.

What have you heard yourself say?

The Gecko snatched the cell phone out of my hand because it didn’t want me to be exposed to messages from my family or to react to those messages.

If this experience were a wake-up call from the most central part of who you are, what do you think it would be saying to you?

Find your inner peace!  Let your wounds be your wounds. They may never finally go away completely. Go your own way despite your inner wounds.  Walk your own path without a bad conscience.

There are many interesting things about this dream.  The shark’s tooth, used by the Gecko to both knock the cell phone out of Sara’s hand and to cut her, was given to her as a present by her therapist, Claudia.  It implies that what looks like a destructive act is in fact, not.  This is borne out by what the Gecko and Hand say in the interview.

If we assume that dreams are basically wake-up calls, we find several aspects that support this theory.  The wound is a wake-up call;  that it keeps getting bigger is a wake-up call.  Becoming lucid in a dream is a form of waking up, to be sure, and the failure to maintain lucidity is associated with a return of the wound.  It is evident that the purpose of the lucidity in the dream is not lucidity in the dream.  The lucidity is for the purpose of depicting what the dreamer needs to learn to do in her waking life: wake up to the damage she is doing to herself in opening old wounds when she contacts her family.

Notice that the dream characters that are interviewed are clear and emphatic about this.  While you or I might encourage Sara to forgive, forget, love, and focus on building a new relationship with family, and in particular with mom (who denied the reality of Sara’s childhood molestation by her step-father that Sara’s mom knew about at the time and ignored, and who also constantly manipulated Sara into feeling guilty), these self-aspects are not so understanding.  Basically, they view mom and family members that encourage Sara to contact mom as toxic.  They want her to cut off all communication with them – at least until she can get over feeling guilty about not talking to them.

Notice that these self-aspects are interested in Sara and Sara’s welfare, not in what other people think she ought to do.  Notice that Hand scores very high in the six core qualities, which implies that it has greater access to them than Sara does, and therefore deserves to be listened to.  Notice that this judgment is validated by the other interviewed self-aspect, Gecko.

Whether or not Sara is able to make her wound go away in her dream is not important.  If she could maintain lucidity and keep the wound gone, what would that solve?  Would that mean that she had the ability to do the same with the wounds from her childhood?  That is unlikely.  What is much more likely is that she would be using her lucidity to repress the wake-up call that the dream depicts.  She would not only not be understanding the dream, but she would encourage the externalization of the nightmare of the wound in some other, more difficult to ignore/repress form in her life, like an accident, illness, or interpersonal conflict.  Fortunately, Sara is choosing to listen, which is a way of practicing upstream prevention that reduces the likelihood of waking suffering and stress.

This lovely lady came with us on a trip to swim with wild dolphins in Bimini, because she had experiences in which dolphins connected her to the divine, spoke to her, and through her.  This lady was not psychotic, delusional, or in any way appearing to be emotionally unbalanced. She is friendly, conscientious, helpful, empathetic, and generous.  Her intuitive connection to the divine is very important to her and dolphins have somehow become a central path or bridge.

This very interesting interview reveals the interface between out of control world events: a world perishing due to human greed and ignorance, and the worried, caring, individual conscience that holds itself somehow responsible.

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

1 Intuition: With all the life issues we have today we don’t have time for intuition.  I have some, but I want more!  If I did, my life would be totally different.  There were moments in my life when I was very intuitive.  Those were very happy moments.  Everything fits together harmonically. Harmony is missing now.

2 Harmony in my life.

3 Love!  Love for myself.  I miss that a lot.

Which issue brings up the strongest feelings for you?

Intuition

I would like to do an interview about an event I had when I was mixing a homeopathic medication five years ago with a group of people that was led by an instructor in homeopathy, I was doing a very special mystery grinding of the “the milk of a dolphin” in a mortar with a pestal.  There was a mother dolphin in a zoo in Switzerland.  Our teacher asked the zoo to give him a little of the dolphin milk because he was making a homeopathic medication with it.  In the homeopathic preparation, you take one little drop of the dolphin milk and put it into 100 drops of sugar and grind it.  When we did that, very strange things happened.  All our senses became very active while this was happening.  We heard voices and saw pictures – not all the same ones – different people heard different voices and saw different things.  All our senses became very intense.  This is like wishful thinking, but you still see reality also.

The first step of the process was a dilution of one drop dolphin’s milk to 100 grams of sugar.  Then you do the same again, diluting it a second time in another 100 grams of sugar.  You take that dilution and repeat two more times for a total of four times.   The grinding only takes twenty minutes for each dilution, however, every step produces different visions and different illusions for the people in the group.  There were forty-five people in our group and everyone got different pictures and stories, so it took altogether two and a half days to do the four dilutions.  When we started to do this grinding I was tasting fresh fish in my mouth.  Normally, I hate fish.  I saw myself coming up from the very dark to the light above.  It was the sea and I was a dolphin.  For those two days I was a dolphin.

There are special themes that we discuss when we do the grinding for each dilution.  The first theme is home country.  Where is your home, where do you feel at home? The second is communication.  It was a very strong theme for me.  I and two others in the group were dolphins, the rest were humans.  I tried to say something to the humans but they didn’t understand.  Other members of the group were telling me I looked like a dolphin, with the nose and eyes of a dolphin.

During this time as a dolphin I saw that human civilization was destroyed.  It was like the end of the world.  Big earthquakes destroyed human civilization.  Everything was destroyed. I knew that we humans were responsible for it.  During the fourth grinding I was standing near to God and I felt very guilty for the destruction of the planet. I wanted to come back down back to Earth and tell humans not to do it, to somehow prevent it.   I was begging to be sent down to Earth because there was still time to change things.  It didn’t matter what shape I came back in, as a dolphin or as a bird, for example, to give this message to humans.  I was standing with my head down and feeling very guilty.  The Divine said, “Humans can’t understand each other.  Why should they understand you as a dolphin or some other animal?”  I said, “I will find a way to tell them so that they will not lose their contact with the divine.”  Then I was a dolphin for several lives.

The back fin connects dolphins to the divine.  As a dolphin, I was feeling that connection.  In my vision, all the dolphins killed themselves because they couldn’t communicate with the humans about the disaster in a way that humans would hear.  So the dolphins turned themselves on their backs to break their contact with the divine and drove themselves onto the land because they couldn’t contact humans.  They are still trying to be heard by humans today.

The leader of the homeopathic grinding said that there should be a fifth dilution but not all the group could follow it.  They could all sleep on it and he would decide which members could do the fifth step.  Fifteen people were selected.  The others were dreaming different things and got signs that they shouldn’t do the fifth step.

I did the step.  I woke up knowing that I should do it.  While I was taking a shower that morning I had a feeling that someone was pushing a knife into my back.   I was feeling it and I was screaming.  My roommate got me out of the shower because I couldn’t move because I was still feeling the knife in my back.  It was a big pain.   There was also a shaman in the group.  He stopped the hurting a bit when he gave me a wooden dolphin.  He told me that he wasn’t a dolphin man and that I am more dolphin than he is.  I caressed the back fin of this wooden dolphin and the pain in my back went away!  With this fifth grinding I was losing the ability to listen to the dolphins. At the beginning of the fifth grinding I was both human and dolphin but after the fifth grinding of the dolphin milk the dolphin went away and I was only human.  Afterwards, when it was finished, I was so happy to see the people, the sun, the trees that it all was still there after seeing everything destroyed during those two days.    Five years later, I still have this pain in my back sometimes; it comes and goes.

Associations: I have been dreaming of this dolphin trip. I would like to ask this pain why I can’t hear the dolphins anymore.  When I was swimming with dolphins yesterday in the Caribbean near Bimini I heard the dolphins like a choir, but I couldn’t understand them.

Pain, why can’t Terri hear the dolphins any more? Why can’t humans hear them anymore?

The pain is there, but it doesn’t talk.

Pain, why don’t you talk?

She’s not listening.  It’s as if she was just whistling….

What would be different if she was listening to you, pain?

I am still Terri feeling the pain.

Pain, what does Terri need to do to become you right now?

Love!

Are you willing to feel love right now, Terri?

I am feeling love for everyone but not for myself.

Pain, why is Terri not feeling love for herself?

It’s the same feeling that she had when she was standing next to the divine and feeling so guilty for the loss of the world.

Pain, do you think Terri should feel guilty for the loss of the world?

No, she’s not responsible.  She just feels that she is.

Dolphins, I understand that you turned over on your backs and beached yourselves because you couldn’t communicate with humans, is that correct?

Yes, we did that because this back fin of power is like a connection to the divine or like a TV remote control.  You can’t do what you want to do; you’re like a robot.  You are helpless.  We couldn’t stand that any more.  We had to disconnect this connection.

I thought your connection was to the divine.  Why would you want to disconnect it?

It doesn’t make any sense, but it was an inner weakness because I couldn’t take it any more.   I came back many times as a dolphin.

Dolphins, are you aware that Terri feels guilty and responsible for not being able to wake the humans up who are destroying the planet?

No, that’s her problem.  She’s feeling that.  We know that she has wisdom like we do.  We don’t make her responsible; she makes herself responsible.

Dolphins, do you think it’s realistic or helpful for Terri to make herself responsible for humans destroying the planet?

No.

Why not, Dolphins?

She had this experience and she can understand it more than any other human, but every single person is responsible for that.  They do not all know what they are doing.

Dolphins, why do you think Terri has had this piercing pain in her back?

The lack of connection of the line to the divine makes this pain. When she can listen again the pain will stop.

Is she listening right now, dolphins?

No.

What would she need to be doing right now in order to listen, dolphins?

She has to find a quiet place, sit down, and listen.

If she does that, what will she hear? (Terri has a problem thinking the dolphins are talking to her in the interview; she has to listen to them outside of herself.)

Does Terri have to go to quiet places and be by physical dolphins to hear you or can she listen to you in anywhere, or in interviews like the one she is doing right now?

Terri: I can communicate with them here and now because I am back in contact with them.(Problems staying in role: “I don’t know which one wants to speak through me right now, the dolphin part of me or the external, real dolphins.”)

Dolphins, what does Terri have to do to no longer have physical pain?

The pain is so she won’t forget what she saw.  When she starts to listen then the pain will go away.

Dolphins, do you think that Terri is listening to you right now?

Yes.

What do you want to tell her, dolphins?

We don’t want to talk to her now because it is too loud.

Is she putting you off, dolphins, or is she going to talk to you tonight?

We will talk to her tonight if she will get quiet and listen to us.

Thank you dolphins.  We look forward to supporting Terri and you in any way we can in the future.

When I regain this connection to the divine through my back then I will have regained my intuition.

Dolphins, how would Terri’s life be different if she naturally scored like you do in all six of these qualities all the time?

Connected with freedom and happiness all the time!  She shouldn’t ask, she should just live it!  If she wants the pain relief she will take time to listen to us.

You say, “listen to us.” So we stop and listen to you.  Then you say, “It’s not the time.”  Which way is it, dolphins?

They are bored.  They went off. They don’t want to talk…

Two days later:

They are talking all the time!  They say, no matter where she is she needs to take time to get in contact with us!

Dolphins, thank you for talking to Terri!  Has Terri had that pain in her back since she started talking to you again?

No!

How come?

She should take the contact to the divine.  The pain only returns when she is not in contact.

Can she do that through listening to you, dolphins?

We are helping.

This interview raises many interesting questions.

What is the relationship between dreams and mythology?

Can individuals dream cultural myths?

Can myths influence individual dreams?

How do cults and religions get formed?  How do world myths get created?

Notice that part of what creates cultural myths in when a person cannot easily differentiate between external voices and internal ones.  Terri assumed that the dolphins speaking to her were external.

Notice also that Terri felt personally responsible for the acts of all humanity and for the destruction of the entire world.  This is grandiose and narcissistic, although her intentions are based on genuine caring.

Notice that Terri felt not only responsible but guilty.  This added a third problem to the first two: 1) inability to distinguish internal from external guidance; 2) personalization of world responsibility; 3) guilt.

These problems were acute enough to create somatization in a way that paralleled her belief system: dolphins lost their contact with the divine through their backs; when Terri lost her intuitive contact to the divine through being a dolphin at the end of the homeopathic dilution, she developed intense and recurring back pain.

All of this was real for Terri

This interview also demonstrates how Integral Deep Listening, as a form of Dream Yoga, helps people wake up out of false awakenings, that is thinking they are awake when they are not.  Terri’s reality of pain in her back because of the guilt and responsibility she felt for the destructiveness of humanity is a type of “false awakening.”  It is a real and important insight for her, so real that it is externalized,  yet it is not true lucidity.  She is clearly asleep within the dream of her own belief system, which generates her own painful reality. This is an excellent description of and example of how karma works and how we create it out of our awareness continuously, because we think we are awake right now when we are actually in a delusional state, locked in the reality of our own delusions.

A Global Nightmare: The Gulf Oil Spill of April 20, 2010

9.5.10

Cynthia

How we feel and how we think about world events shapes our world view, which it turn shapes the choices that we make that affect not only ourselves but all other beings on Earth in one way or another.  If our world view is inaccurate, we make decisions that are destructive and abusive not only toward our environment and others, but toward ourselves.  The more that our world view takes into account the perspectives of those affected by our decisions, the more likely it is that our decisions will support the common good.  The inverse is also true: the less that our world view takes into account the perspectives of those affected by our decisions, the more likely it is that our decisions will destroy others and ourselves.  Personal and world catastrophes are caused by a lack of awareness of the consequences of our actions.  This has been true throughout history, as Jared Diamond makes clear in Collapse.  It will destroy our own civilization if we do not listen to the past and listen to the increasingly dire wake-up calls that confront humanity.

Many people in the world right now feel like the subject of this interview does:  They are watching the unfolding of a global ecological nightmare, in the form of the Gulf Oil Spill, with horror.  They are both frightened and depressed.  They feel helpless and angry.  They grieve for all the needless lives of sea creatures and the unfolding of terrible destruction to ecosystems in the Ocean.  They know that even if this particular ocean oil leak is quickly plugged that man’s technology is increasingly unleashing natural forces that he cannot control. Depending on the stage of their grief, they deny the seriousness of the situation, stay depressed and helpless, strike out in rage, or reach some accommodation with an unacceptable daily status quo.  What can be done?

The following preferences reflect the disaster from multiple perspectives within one person.  If you created your own account and used it to create a Dream Sociogram to give voice to the players who are participants in your world dream, the results would be uniquely yours.  However, Cynthia’s voice represents many others.  You will find a great deal in her account that you can relate to and appreciate.  Like many people, she has a personal connection to this unfolding nightmare. She has been leading trips to Bimini in the Bahamas to swim with wild dolphins for eleven years and has a deep love and respect for the ocean and its inhabitants.  It is a voice that needs to be heard.  It gives voice to those who can not speak, but can only live and die.

Integral Deep Listening is inherently therapeutic, in that by respecting, recognizing, listening to, and accepting multiple self-created perspectives we evolve beyond our prerational feelings and beliefs about our personal and shared dramas and nightmares.   It does so in part by providing a rational and objective method of evaluation that is duplicatable and subject to peer review.  Identification with personifications of our conflicting needs and wants, as well as our unrecognized potentials, whether from nightmares, waking life issues, or waking life nightmares, such as the gulf oil spill, allow us the ability to access transpersonal world views that transcend and include multiple legitimate perspectives that we previously ignored or disowned.  The world needs such transpersonal perspectives now, and the ability of IDL to generate them in an authentic way is what makes it integral.

Our hope is that this Dream Sociomatrix and Sociogram will help you process through your own thoughts and feelings about what we are doing to our planet and steer you toward a stance or perspective will not be reactive, dismissive, or partial, but one that will heal, balance, and transform your life.

Waking Life Dream Narrative

Oil Platform in the Gulf of Mexico, 20th of April, 2010. PB Officials are visiting, celebrating that there will soon be a highly productive oil well below Deep Water Horizon.  Then whoosh, boom, running.  Chaos.  BP officials leaving platform first.  Some people are trying to activate the main blowout preventer, but in vain. The platform is already on fire.  Workers get into life boats.  Some fall into the sea and are cooked by the heat.  Oil is pouring out, under great pressure.  Nothing can be done to stop the leak.  All the measures taken are ineffective.  A huge carpet of oil that you can see from space forms on the sea.  No one knows how much oil is floating and drifting of lying on the bottom of the Gulf.  Obama says BP will pay for it but BP is not equipped to deal with the catastrophe.  The Coast Guard and other arms of government intervene.  They inject dispersants that make people feel they are successful but the chemicals are even more toxic than the oil.  Uncontainable, it is soon taken up by the loop current that meets the Gulf Stream, sweeping along the Florida coastline, Cuba, and on up the Eastern seaboard.  Most of the fish larvae in the affected areas die.  It will take decades for sea life to recover from the spill.  Some never do.  Some go extinct.  Every creature that lives on fish – dolphins, sharks, birds – have a hard time.

My associations to this waking life dream are…

Every time you go swimming in those areas you have will have tar on your body.  The ocean washes tar balls ashore for decades.  It will enter history as the greatest oil spill of mankind.  It leads to fierce fights between conservatives and environmentalists.  They all wish they had put more energy, resources, and money into alternative energy because they realize that time is running out for the environment. Do the banks of the Bahamas remain dolphin grounds and a shark nursery because the Gulf current pushes it past?  Or does everything get killed?  In August will there be no dolphins to swim with, with the creatures dead and the reefs suffocated under oil?  The Gulf Stream will transport the oil even down to Africa.  It will pollute all the oceans of the world because they are all connected through the deep water basins.  It is something that is happening to mankind, not just to one country or to one ocean.  Is it a changing point for energy?

Three fundamental life issues

How to not lose hope for mankind and become a total cynic.

Not losing hope for my own life.  Why get up in the morning?  Why worry about smoking or not in the face of catastrophes like this? Depression.  “Why bother?  Life is almost over anyway.

• Existential fear.  Hardly being able to pay bills now.  How bad will things get?   Should I go to Miami to help clean up the coast?  Should I go for a last swim with the dolphins before the oil kills them all?

Predictions:

This life dream has a cast of characters.  One of them will be most preferring, another most rejecting.  One will be most preferred by the other characters in the group, one will be most rejected.  There will be most preferred and most rejected actions and feelings if there are multiple actions and feelings stated in the dream narrative and included in the constructed dream sociomatrix.  If this was your dream, what would be your predictions?  Here are Cynthia’s. Write down your best guess of the preferences of this life nightmare group.  At the end you will get to see how accurate you and Cynthia were.

Most preferring: Gulf Stream

Most rejecting: BP

Most preferred character: Ocean Life

Most rejected character: BP

Most preferred action: Clean up

Most rejected action: pollution

Most preferred feeling: ?

Most rejected feeling: appalled; in shock

Dream Sociomatrix Commentary

A Dream Sociomatrix is a grid for collecting seven degrees of preference and one preference-transcending worldview, as these are expressed by a group of self-aspects, both individually and collectively.  These self-aspects may be characters in a dream, a waking life issue, or in a world event.  From the perspective of spirit, all of these are equally both real and dreamlike.  Detailed information about creating Dream Sociomatrices can be found here and here.

“The reason I like, like (a lot, love, dislike, dislike a lot, hate, don’t care about, or am accepting toward) (dream element) is…”  “What I liked/disliked most about being in this dream is…”

Dream Self: I like myself because I’m compassionate.  I dislike the drilling platform. I love the ocean.  I am ambivalent toward the workers.  I dislike BP.  I dislike the blowout. I don’t care about the subsequent fire.   I don’t care about the evacuation or the following deaths.  Sometimes I dislike them.  It’s difficult.  Right now I don’t care.  I don’t know those people.  Those losses are really peanuts compared to who and what else will die, plus they get paid to take such risks. They know what they’re doing; it’s their responsibility.  I’m neutral toward the oil.  There’s nothing wrong with it.  It should just stay where it was.  The Gulf of Mexico is beautiful!  I like it a lot!  Also the Gulf Stream; it brings warmth and fresh water and keeps everything going.  I hate that they can’t stop the leak.  It’s almost unbearable to know that this is going to be going on for months and it could be a huge amount of oil that leaks.  I hate that the oil is spreading and that it is killing the ocean’s creatures.  I hate that it’s a catastrophe. We don’t need any more catastrophes.  Yet I am still ambivalent.  Maybe this horror will bring a change and wake everyone up, like Chernobyl.  Maybe it will make clear that we have to live with sustainable energies.  Perhaps the catastrophe will make for less war with those countries that have oil.  I love the idea of cleaning it all up but not what they are actually doing to clean it up now.  The dispersant chemicals they are using actually makes it worse for the ocean life.  I am ambivalent about being appalled and in shock.  People shouldn’t have to spend their time cleaning birds and sand and dealing with this.

What I like most about being in this experience is that I AM alive to experience it.

What I dislike most about being in this experience is the same: that I have to experience something like this while I am alive.

Platform: Who’s Cynthia?  I have no feelings.  The blowout destroys me. I don’t like being destroyed or on fire. I dislike the evacuation.  Everyone is leaving me unmanned.  Everybody is in a panic.  Not a nice sight.  No one takes care of me.  They all just run away and save their own asses.  I don’t care about the deaths.  I like oil.  That’s what I’m here for.  If I bring up a lot, I’m good.  I don’t care that they can’t stop the leak or about the coasts.  Regarding the sea creatures, it’s a pity that so many are going to die needlessly. They swim all around me, trying to build homes on me confidently, they didn’t seem to fear me.  It’s a pity, but I can’t help it.  Their deaths are terrible even for a platform without any feelings.  I don’t like the catastrophe, but if ever a fish lives here again it can make a cave home out of me, a mile down below the waves.  I like that there are clean up efforts.  What I like most about being in this experience is nothing.  I wish I wasn’t here.  What I dislike most about being in this experience is being involved in disaster and death.

Ocean: I love Cynthia!  I don’t like the platform.  I love myself.  I like the workers and dislike BP a lot.  I dislike the blowout.  I’m used to oil, but not to such amounts.  I don’t care about the fire, evacuations, or deaths.  I dislike the oil a lot.  It’s too much coming out.  When it stays where it was, I like it.  I like the Gulf Stream and dislike a lot that they can’t stop the leak.  I love the coasts.  I love my sea creatures!  The fact that the oil kills them I dislike a lot.  That this is a catastrophe for dream self – I agree.  It is a catastrophe, and I’ve had enough of them.  I dislike it a lot.  I dislike the attempts to clean up because they are not enough and not the right kind.  Nobody cared enough about what to do in such cases.  They should be pouring millions of bacteria into the oil to devour it. They are instead pouring chemicals into me that are even harder for me to metabolize than oil.  The ocean bottom is always oozing oil.  I like that Cynthia is appalled and in shock.  Not that it makes any difference.  What I like most about being in this experience is nothing.  I wish I wasn’t in it.  It’s a nightmare.  What I dislike most about being in this experience is getting polluted; getting suffocated and killed.

BP: I don’t care about Cynthia.  I like the platform very much.  We don’t like the ocean a lot.  It’s between us and the oil.  It’s dangerous, as you can see.  Nothing but trouble.  We don’t care about the workers.  There are so many more.  We have to say we care, but of course we really don’t.  People are replaceable, anytime. Regarding ourselves, we like ourselves a lot.  We hate the blowout and the fire.  We don’t like having to evacuate and the deaths.  They’re bad PR.  We love the oil.  You can make loads of money with it…We don’t like the Gulf Stream.  It might transport our problem further.  Even more people will be angry at us.  We hate that we can’t stop the leak. We hate being out of control. We have to admit we have no control. Terrible.  We said this could never happen.  Shit.  Bad PR.  People might not so easily forget this.  That’s real shit.  We like the coasts.  The ocean creatures we like to eat. But mostly we’re ambivalent.  Most of it is a bit scary. If they weren’t there people might not be so upset about us polluting the ocean.  That the spill kills the ocean creatures is bad PR.  It’s difficult for us to explain to our children.  We dislike that this is a catastrophe.  We like the clean-up efforts so we can tell people that we’re doing our best.  Also we get to feel that we are doing something good.  We don’t care that Cynthia feels appalled and in shock.  It’s her fault too that this happened.  She needs oil. We’re only doing it for her.  What I like most about being in this experience is nothing. We’d rather not be there. What I dislike most about being in this experience is getting such bad PR.  It might lead to not getting further drilling permits.  It means less profit in the future.  What have we done to deserve that?

Sea Creatures: We like Cynthia a lot!  She’s funny!  She’s also gentle when she meets or touches us.  She also likes those of us that others don’t like, like sharks.  The platform is a nice hideaway and playground.  The ocean is our home. We love it!  We ARE the ocean!  We like the workers but if BP is what is responsible for poisoning us, then we don’t like them.  We hate the blowout.  We don’t care about the fire.  Pity the workers were in the lifeboats or we could have eaten them at least.  Sorry, but we’re practical.  The oil can’t help it that it’s where it is.  But we dislike it a lot.  It’s not where it belongs.  It’s deadly for us.  We like the Gulf Stream a lot!  It’s fun swimming in it!  It takes a lot of shit away and brings fresh water!  We’re not surprised these humans cannot close this leak.  We dislike it a lot.  People never think of the consequences.  We love the coasts! We can hide there; bring up our young. We have many nurseries there.  We like each other a lot.  Life is precious.  That this spill is killing us makes us very sad.  Life has become so difficult. So often there is disease and infection and not enough to eat.  And now on top of that…  It’s a big blow. Some of us might go extinct all together.  There are not so many turtles left among us, for instance.  There are some creatures in the depths where this oil sinks to that humans haven’t met yet.  They will go extinct before you will have known about their existence.  We dislike this catastrophe a lot. We dislike the cleanup efforts.  We need the oil taken out or stopped.  They are not stopping it and they are putting more in.   We like that Cynthia is appalled and in shock.  At least someone is compassionate.  What I like most about being in this experience is nothing. What I dislike most about being in this experience is that we are being killed and are not able to bring up our babies.  The life for the ones of us that do survive is even harder.  It’s our duty to keep balance. This oil makes it impossible to keep balance.

Coasts: We like Cynthia.  We don’t like the platform. We love the ocean rolling ashore every day and licking at my rocks and the funny sounds of the pebbles!  We don’t like the workers; we dislike a lot BP.  They should leave us alone!  We dislike a lot the blowout and the fire, but it was to be expected.  We’ve been feeling the vibrations of the drilling even though it’s fifty miles out.  We don’t care about the evacuations and deaths. The oil is terrible.  It’s like a time bomb under your ass when you’re a coast. So far I felt pretty protected by all that sea bottom and by the big ocean.  It will stifle all life that I have on me when it reaches me.  Compared to the water I don’t have any chance of dilute it in any way.  I can only hope for some rain.  I love the Gulf Stream!  Hopefully it will take this shit away from me but then maybe to another part of me.  Hopefully it will help to dilute it.  We dislike that they can’t stop this.  We like ourselves a lot!  We love the sea creatures!  They’re funny!  They’re interesting!  The fact that they are being killed makes my life more boring.  No one will come to me.  We don’t feel hate like humans.  From my perspective the cleanup efforts keep a lot of the oil away from me.  I know it doesn’t help the ocean but it does help me.  I like that she is in shock and appalled.  What I like most about being in this experience is nothing. I would rather not be in it.  What I dislike most about being in this experience is being afraid.  Not knowing whether in a short time everything that I’ve taken a long time to grow will be dead.

Gulf Stream: Cynthia’s a nice girl!  I don’t know about Platforms but I’ve heard about them. They have a lot of stupid people on them that drill holes into the bottom of the sea.  I love the ocean.  I communicate with it.  I bring messages from one ocean to another.  I am indifferent toward the workers.  I dislike BP a lot. They’ve given me many disgusting loads to carry.   The blowout is terrible.  I dislike it a lot.  I’m afraid I’ll end up carrying it on my shoulders and then it will be all my fault if tar balls appear anywhere in the Caribbean or in Africa.  I dislike the oil in these huge amounts where it is as a result of this catastrophe.  I love myself.  It’s terrible that they can’t stop the leak but it’s to be expected.  It means I’ll have to carry this shit for months.  I love my Coasts.  I bring them warmth.  I make palm trees grow where people don’t expect them. that’s me!  I usually bring good things.  I hate bringing bad things.  The efforts to clean up are not right.  These chemicals are awful.  Regarding Cynthia feeling appalled and in shock, she should just flow and not feel such things.  But I understand it.  What I like most about being in this experience is nothing. I would rather not be in it.  What I dislike most about being in this experience is having to be the one that spreads it all.

Oil: I like the platform.  It’s what brought me up here.  I love the oceans!  It’s nice to whisk the workers off the platform.  I like that they help me come to the surface.  I am very ambivalent about BP.  Usually I don’t like them because they just use me all up.  Right now it’s quite nice to be out in the world.  No, we don’t like BP.   The blowout and the fire was a great show, wasn’t it?  Everything’s new for us for the first moment. We like it.   Then I just get wasted.  It’s interesting to see all the sea creataures.  But they all seem to die when they meet me or race away.  I don’t think I like any of this.  I think I would like to be back where I was.  I felt locked in but now that I’m out I think I want to go back.  Everybody wants me but nobody likes me.  If I could, I think I would just go back.  I didn’t want to be here.  I was pushed out here.  In the end I will get diluted.  It all looked like fun at the beginning.  I’m learning quickly.  No, I don’t like it.  I dislike that I kill.  I’m precious.  Silky.  Beautiful!  The Gulf Stream is WOW!  Definitely as powerful as me!  It can flow itself!  I need something to push me!  How do I feel that people can’t stop me from flowing out of the ground!  Ha ha ha!  I’m amvivalent.  I’m stronger than you.  You should have left me alone.  But also terrible.  I can’t stop myself.  I’m dependent on others to stop me.  I would like to stop polluting everything, but I can’t.  I don’t like going to the coasts!  No one likes me there!  But I like the coasts.  I love sea creatures but hate that I kill them.  This IS a catastrophe.  I am VERY big. There’s much more of me to come.  I was part of a balance down there in the earth.  Stability gets changed when I leave.  I will leave a vacuum that is destabilizing.  There’s quite a lot of movement going on down here.  I work as a shock absorber of waves that go through the rocks.  Regarding the clean up efforts, I don’t like them.  You can’t deal with me that way.  That Cynthia is appalled and shocked, I understand but I don’t care.  What I like most about being in this experience is nothing. I would rather not be in it.  What I dislike most about being in this experience is that I see the world.  That I can flow.

Dream Consciousness:

I like Cynthia.  She’s a good sort.  Not developed far enough, but on the way.  Regarding the oil platform, I create them so people can stand on them and have a good overview. This one is being abused.  I don’t like it.  I don’t like where it is, either.  I like the workers but I don’t like what they’re doing.  I dislike BP a lot!  They are dishonest megalomaniacs.  I dislike the blowout but I needed it to wake up mankind.  I just had to stop all the drilling they were wanting to do in the future.  I wish I could have done it in another way, but I had no more time.  In my experience human beings don’t listen in any other way.  I don’t care about the fire.  The BP heads should have died instead of the workers.  Catastrophes have little to do with justice.  I love the oil and the Gulf Stream.  I am ambivalent that they can’t stop the leak for the same reasons.  A lesson has to be taught.  It won’t be taught if BP can say, “We’re the heroes.  We’ve stopped it.”  You can’t just get away too cheaply when you mess with the powers that created all life.  I love the sea creatures!  I hate that they are being killed!  I like a lot that Cynthia is experiencing this as a catastrophe.  Maybe it will wake HER up.  I am ambivalent about the cleanup efforts not working, for the same reasons.  Actually, I hate it because I think it’s enough already of a shock and a wakeup call.  I wish the measures were working.  I’m sorry Cynthia is appalled and in shock, but it’s apt.  What else?  I wish everybody would stop and feel that way and not go on with business as usual.  What I like most about creating this experience is nothing. What I dislike most about creating this experience is bringing pain, suffering, and death.  It’s terrible to do that as a wake-up call.  This is not the way you ought to wake people up.

What surprises me about what I’ve heard is…

One thing I find surprising practically is that the oil is like a bubble under the crust of the earth is acting as a shock absorber.  When it’s not there the crust is destabilized and out of balance.  The more that we pump it out the more destabilized it will be.  I don’t know if this is accurate or not, but I’ve never thought of that.  The oil said it was like an absorber to absorb shock waves.  The other thing I find shocking is Dream Consciousness saying that this is necessary, because I think that’s crap.  I think that’s dangerous.  It’s like terrorists saying that the end justifies the means.  I find this disturbing.  I don’t think that the end justifies the means at ALL.  I am so totally against that.  For Dream Consciousness to say that it has to teach people a lesson, that the Exxon Valdiz was not enough.  What part of myself is it that has to talk like this?  I find it scary.  I doubt it and I distrust it.  It doesn’t give me a feeling that a higher, deeper voice has spoken but rather a feeling that I would like to find out more about that and check back, investigate, examine what part of myself this really is.  Most people bow before their dream consciousness as if it were God or their higher self or something.  It rather fills me with anger, like “Who the fuck to do you think you are that anyone needs to be taught a lesson like that?”

The autonomy of all of these different aspects of myself was unexpected and surprising to me, even though I have been practicing IDL/Dream Yoga for about three years.

Dream Commentary

“If I could change this dream in any way, would I change it?  If so, how?”

Platform: I would have my sound alarm button installed so the blowout converter would automatically shut off the flow of oil.

Ocean: They never would have drilled. They’re dealing with pressures they’re far too small to control.

BP: We wish we had installed the back up shut-off.  We shouldn’t have saved on that $500,000.00.

Sea Creatures: No drilling in the first place.

Coasts: The same.

Gulf Stream: The same.

Oil: The same:

Dream Consciousness: The same.

Dream Self: There IS no change.  What am I supposed to come up with, a fairy tale?  That it all will turn out great?  That it will teach mankind a great lesson?  From now on man will only do things in his authentic, true, own best interest instead of destroying himself????

Dreamage

(A rewrite of the dream based on a consensus of dream group member recommendations.  If there is no consensus, there can be no dreamage.  A synthesis group dream is usually its own dreamage.  Read it over before sleep as an affirmation of a higher pattern of internal integration and healing.)

No dreamage is possible, other than for it to have never happened.

Dream Summary Commentary

(“What part of this dreamer do you most closely personify?

“My strengths are…

“The reason why I am in this life experience is…”

“This dream group came together to…”)

Platform: I personify Cynthia’s practical perspective from which to take a particular overview.  I am in this experience because I’m a symbol of mankind’s desire to explore, conquer, and acquire.  I am a symbol of technical development.  I stand for the megalomanic belief that everything can be controlled.  This group of Cynthia’s self-aspects came together to create this nightmare of exploitation, pain, and death.  Good forces meeting bad forces.  It’s about survival.  It’s about who is going to win.

Ocean: I personify what Cynthia mainly consists of: salty water, inhabited by all sorts of life, streams, currents, waterways, and poisons.  I represent what everybody is made from.  I am the source of all life.  I am in this life experience because I am very, very powerful but I am not unlimited.  My ability to metabolize shit is not infinite.  I don’t have any time for hate, but it’s becoming more and more difficult to keep any kind of balance.  These self-aspects came together to show that tragedy is happening, that mankind is killing his own sources of life.

BP: We personify the greedy parts of Cynthia, the parts that want today and don’t think about the consequences tomorrow, the part that thinks it will get away with everything. The part that lies and is deceitful to the extent that it believes in its own lies.  I am in this life experience to be the bad guy.  We came together as a fight for life.

Sea Creatures: We personify Cynthia’s abundance!  The great worth of the tiniest worm to the biggest whale.  We are in this life nightmare to be the ones that die.  Abundance, variety is dying.  We came together to show her how serious the situation is.  No more time to play games.

Coasts: I personify Cynthia’s more solid part of her, the rock.  The parts that can’t be so easily shaken.  Being nagged at by time but not so easily shaken.  I’m a witness as well as involved.  I can see what’s coming…These self-aspects came together to destroy illusions.

Gulf Stream: I personify Cynthia’s strong, flowing power that goes on no matter what – whether full of life or death.  I am in this life experience to show that everything’s connected to everything and everybody else.  All these self-aspects came together in this experience to praise life and to say how unique it is.  You won’t find another planet like this one.

Oil: I most closely personify Cynthia’s residue of ancient life.  Something that should be used sparingly, like medicine, rather homeopathic.  Old, ancient stuff that someone shouldn’t mess with.  I am in this life experience as what everybody wants.  People fight over me.  I’m what’s kept everything going so far.  This group came together to make people stop, realize what they are doing and start using me wisely. To remind them that there is not only me but the power of the water, of the wind, of the temperature of the earth.

Dream Consciousness: I most closely personify her conscience, the part that tries to put one and one together.  The part that knows what is true and right. The reason why I created this dream is to tell her that she will never enter the same ocean again, like you never enter the same river twice.  I want to tell her that so that she will not see Bimini as her paradise, somewhere she can go to balance out and crank up.  It’s all the same everywhere; everything is out of balance, wherever you look.  This group came together to show how just one basic greed can be enough to endanger something as big and old as the ocean  and how that same blind greed makes the ice melt and the temperatures rise and turn storms into cyclones.

Waking Commentary

As (this dream group member), if I were living this dreamer’s waking life, how would I live it differently? Would I handle this dreamer’s three life issues differently?  If so, how?

How to not lose hope for mankind and become a total cynic.

Not losing hope for my own life.  Why get up in the morning?  Why worry about smoking or not in the face of catastrophes like this? Depression.  “Why bother?  Life is almost over anyway.

• Existential fear.  Hardly being able to pay bills now.  How bad will things get?   Should I go to Miami to help clean up the coast?  Should I go for a last swim with the dolphins before the oil kills them all?

Platform: I wouldn’t dig so deep.  If you don’t, you don’t get so much shit flying around your ears.  I would spend time in the garden looking instead of digging.   Regarding her first life issue, seeing the direction mankind is heading into, why bother about such small fears as to whether one is changing into a cynic or not?  Laughable!  Regarding losing hope for her own life, if she lost that hope she would be no better than anyone else. that’s good enough reason not to do that one.  She should treat herself the way she wants this planet treated.  The bottom of the ocean is leaking oil – she is rotting away anyway. Her system has to take care of oil leaking naturally into her without needing to do anything on top of that, like not treating herself well or poisoning herself well, or pouring extra shit inside.  The ocean doesn’t get out of balance because of a little poison here or there. Excesses get one out of balance.  Regarding dealing with her existential fear, I can’t say.  Flying into Miami to say goodbye to the sandy white beaches or to the Bahamas.  Maybe get on Jeffrey’s boat and spoil the good time his clients are having now – what’s the use of that?  If she did that it would mean that she really had given up all hope.  But sometimes to have hope you have to give up some hope.  She doesn’t have to fear about not getting enough to eat or not having medical care.

Ocean: If I were in charge of Cynthia’s life I wouldn’t smoke.    I would accept everything inside me.  I would be more aware of the fact that I too have limits.  Regarding not losing hope in mankind, it’s her choice.  There is nothing that gives you the reason to hope.  It’s your own choice.  You create hope out of yourself.  Regarding not losing hope for her own life, I wouldn’t give up life before I’m dead.  As  long as there’s life, there’s hope.  I don’t know if I’m going to turn into a big stinking mass.  I’m not going to give up hope that I will be able to metabolize it all, though it’s a terrible job.  I won’t give up hope before I’m dead.  Regarding her existential fear, I would exist and BE as best as I can.  It’s all inside of me. What can I do? Better accept it and start the work of getting rid it.

BP: If I were in charge of Cynthia’s life I would install a blow out preventer.  If there was too much pressure she would scream and howl so everybody could hear it.  Then she would just shut down.  That would create safety, stability.  Regarding hope for mankind, I can’t answer that.  I have lost hope in mankind even though I often believe in my own lies.  Regarding Cynthia’s fear of losing hope for her own life, I would party and celebrate.  Regarding her existential fear, cheat and lie and make the most of it.

Sea Creatures: If we were in charge of Cynthia’s life we wouldn’t worry about the future, even though we feel.  We enjoy life. We feel what we feel.  We suffer, we die. We don’t worry about the future.   We don’t think.  Regarding her fear of becoming a cynic, we don’t know.  We aren’t cynical.  We don’t give up hope.  Regarding her existential fears, we would live every moment.  Each one is special enough.  We don’t do the future.

Coasts: I personify Cynthia’s more solid part of her, the rock, the parts that can’t be so easily shaken.  We are being nagged at by time, but not so easily shaken.  I’m a witness as well as involved.  I can see what’s coming…These self-aspects came together to destroy illusions.    We would stand patiently and await what’s coming.  We can’t run away.  Neither can Cynthia.

Gulf Stream: If I were in charge of Cynthia’s life I would flow and help dilute as much as possible.  It is no real solving of the problem but it creates a chance to get things back into balance.  Regarding her life issues, they are her choice.  It’s no one else’s problem.  Every morning when I wake up I would choose not to become a cynic but to just flow and to do my job.

Oil: If I were in charge of Cynthia’s life I would have my importance but not to have it overestimated.  I would be aware that I am replaceable and I wouldn’t believe that I am irreplaceable.  Regarding not becoming a cynic or depressed, I’m deeply pressed, but I don’t get depressed!  I just AM de-pressed!  I am a great force that’s closed in.  She would be far more patient.  She would be able to think in big, great waves, in centuries, in millennia instead of centuries.  Then it wouldn’t be so important whether she finds her paradise the same the next time she goes or not.  She would be much more content.

Dream Consciousness: If I were in charge of Cynthia’s life – what do you mean? I AM responsible for Cynthia’s life!  Her life issues are her choice!  I wouldn’t get depressed or become a cynic.  I would just live and die.  If I get too weak I would give up.  I would know that I’m not so important but I would also know that it’s a good example for others not to give up too easily.

Identification Commentary

If I could designate specific occasions in the dreamer’s waking life when I would recommend that he imagine that he is me, what would those occasions be?

Platform: When she wants a good overview and when she wants to drill a bit deeper.

Ocean: When she wants to understand how she poisons herself and what harm she does to herself.

BP: When she needs to really put on a show!  Impress, deceive others!  Intimidate others.

Sea Creatures: When she feels helpless and tiny and small.  Then she will know that the smallest of us makes a difference, count, and make a hole a home.

Coasts: When she needs a second opinion, another kind of overview perspective.  I do not think of myself as a beach but as rocks and cliffs.

Gulf Stream: Whenever she is afraid to flow, feeling she might bring harm.  If she becomes me she will know it is her nature to flow and spread things.

Oil: When she needs to be quietly sitting somewhere…peaceful.

Dream Consciousness: When she wants to write a book!  I will supply her with enough ideas, with a plot and all.  I AM the dream maker!

Action Plan

(All of the above recommendations for waking life application are not of equal importance.  You have to decide how you wish to prioritize them and what you want to do with them.  But take some action!  It is a way of demonstrating that you take your inner direction seriously.  If you have it wrong, future dream groups will cybernetically correct your course.)

Be the oil, not having to do anything to be treasured.  Just resting, being who I am and being lazy.

Taking better care of myself.  See where I poison myself.  Using the ocean as a mirror for myself.  It’s difficult enough for my system to keep itself in balance without putting a lot of additional shit into myself.

• The Coast and the Platform are both important perspectives that I need.

Sociogram Commentary

The purpose of the Dream Sociogram Commentary is to interpret the depiction of group member preferences as they appear in the Dream Sociogram.  Information on how Dream Sociograms are constructed and how they are read can be found here.

Overall Pattern: This group’s preferences have created an antithetical Dream Sociogram.  There are five basic Dream Sociogram patterns possible: thesis, in which there is bipolar placement on one or more of the three element (chosen axes – form, process, or affect); synthesis, in which only positive  axis preferences are in evidence (“everyone prefers everyone else”); high synthesis, an extreme variation of thesis patterns, in which positive preferences are very strong (“everyone loves everyone else”); antithetical, in which we find bipolar placements on the vertical acceptance axis and usually, but not necessarily, bipolar placements on one or more of the three element axes; and nightmare antithetical, in which persecutors prefer the pattern and normally accepting self-aspects reject it.  While a nightmare may show up as a nightmare antithetical Dream Sociogram, such groups typically create antithetical distributions. Nightmare antithetical patterns are psychic hell.

Acceptance Axis: We know this group of self-aspects interacts in an antithetical pattern because there are rejecting self-aspects on the lower half of the vertical (acceptance) axis, indicating significant self-rejection regarding this life experience.  We know which parts of the dreamer are rejecting and self-critical in this group by seeing who is where on the negative pole of the acceptance axis. We find that the Gulf Stream, Coasts, Platform, and British Petroleum are all rejecting self-aspects, with the first two the most internally ambivalent in their rejection, intensifying the complexity of the conflict.  The fact that some of the rejectors are victimized (Gulf Stream, Coasts) while others are the victimizers (BP, Platform) speaks to the profound and seemingly unresolvable depth of the conflict within the dreamer regarding this life nightmare.  However, it is important to note that it could be much worse.  If all normally preferring self-aspects (Dream Consciousness, Ocean, and Sea Creatures) were rejecting (situated on the lower half of the Acceptance Axis), and if all commonly rejecting self-aspects (BP, Oil, Platform) were preferring (situated on the upper half of the Acceptance Axis), we would have a nightmare antithetical pattern, in which intrapsychic conflict is much more profound.  Others, creating their own version of this world nightmare, might indeed generate such a pattern.

The Acceptance Axis placements answer the questions, “What aspects of myself are most preferring of this experience?”  “What aspects of myself are most rejecting of this experience?”  What are the relationships of these to one another?” The basic conflict on the Acceptance Axis is between Dream Consciousness and British Petroleum.  Dream Consciousness is the voice of that aspect of Cynthia that created all players, actions, and feelings in her personal experience of this life nightmare.  BP is a greedy part of herself that does not hear or represent the needs of other self-aspects that are affected by its actions.  Normally we resolve such conflicts by taking conscious action.  In this case, Cynthia’s waking identity, represented by Dream Self, is in terrible internal conflict, and this basically makes decisive response impossible, leaving open only paralysis or reactive, impulsive gestures as perceived alternatives.  The other choosing self-aspects experience themselves as victimized, passive, or powerless and so are not experienced as providing support for change or in working toward a solution to this nightmare.  It is important to remember that the Dream Sociogram represents preferences at the point in time that the Dream Sociomatrix was created; it does not reflect the reality of the practical, concrete, and helpful contributions that can come out of the subsequent commentaries, nor does it represent the reality from the perspectives of other people or from the actual ocean, sea life, coasts, or Gulf Stream themselves.  While Dream Yoga/IDL gives them voice, it is one person’s voice, not some ultimate truth.

Form Axis: The form axis places positive preferences by choosing characters toward chosen characters at 4:00 and negative preferences at 10:00 in the Dream Sociogram.  This axis answers the questions, “What self-aspects does the group as a whole prefer?  “What self-aspects does the group as a whole reject?”  “What are the relationships of these perspectives to one another?” We find that the most natural self-aspects, and those which are experienced as victimized by this life nightmare, are the most preferred.  We find those which are experienced as abusive, persecuting, or man-made are most rejected, which of course makes sense in this case, but is not what you will always find when you create Dream Sociomatrices and Sociograms.  Although Dream Self experiences herself as depressed, passive, helpless, hopeless, and angry, the group as a whole does not reject her, but instead is either neutral or preferring of her.  Oil is not rejected, although it is viewed with moderate group ambivalence.  The workers that made the spill possible are preferred by the group.

Remember that you are looking at a metaphorical depiction of those internal perspectives that are in conflict.  This conflict creates fear, depression, and anxiety for the dreamer.  To resolve it, she needs to somehow reach a higher order integration of these different parts of herself.  But how?  That is why we have the subsequent commentaries, an action plan, and a system of follow-up accountability with Practitioners.  Cynthia is authentically stuck in the clash of authentic internal world views.  To make lasting changes, she needs support in listening to and applying the reasonable advice of her own internal community.

Process Axis: This is the horizontal axis on which the group preferences toward individual actions are placed.  Actions are processes.  They are not things and they may or may not contain a feeling aspect.  While actions could be interviewed, they typically are not, because it is easier to be a “thing” than a process, and because processes are already attached to things.  So interviewing both is somewhat redundant, but can be done. If you are a Buddhist, all things are actually processes in disguise. There are no independently existing “things.” Some action elements, like fire, are obviously processes but can be easily interviewed as dream characters.  Others, like “considered,” are best teated as chosen elements.

In this antithetical constellation, notice that there are no preferred actions.  Think about that.  We have many ancient and wise members of this group.  None of them can recommend any of the actions contained in the Sociomatrix. That does not mean that there are none.  They could be in the original narrative and not included in the Dream Sociomatrix.  They could not show up until the commentaries.  What this states, however, is the existential reality of depression and hopelessness for this dreamer.  She does not have access to behaviors that are recommended by the group.  Instead, we have a polarity among rejected actions, with “deaths,” i.e. dying!!!! as being the least rejected action by this group.  It is preferred over merely escaping (evacuation) or what is passing for cleaning up the mess, actions that the group dismisses as ineffectual when they are not actually making the situation worse.  More actions are highly rejected: “can’t stop,”“blow out,” catastrophe,” and “kills.”  These are behaviors that the dreamer doesn’t want to identify with and are not part of any solution, but that she is identified with – or they wouldn’t be part of her experience. They must be somehow dealt with if there is going to be any lasting solution.

Affect Axis: Any emotion that is noted across the top of the Dream Sociomatrix is placed on this axis.  The preferred emotions go on the positive axis, at 2:00, and the rejected emotions go on the negative axis, at 7:00.  It is typical to only have one or two emotions reported.  In this case there are two, “appalled,” and “in shock,” that were reported together and are close enough in meaning that they are treated as one.

Note that Cynthia predicted that this feeling would be rejected.  It wasn’t.  How come?  Element placement in a Dream Sociogram isn’t determined by the preferences or world view of Dream Self, in this case, Cynthia.  They are determined by the cumulative stated preferences of all choosers.  In this case what that means is that the group as a whole preferred Cynthia feeling appalled and in shock.   This is an excellent example of how intrasocial groups teach us to question our thoughts, behaviors, and feelings by looking at them from perspectives that transcend and include our own.

How can Cynthia best use the data from a Dream Sociogram?  She is looking at a snapshot of one moment in time of the relationships among various relevant internal preferences and perspectives that are engaged and invested in this life issue.  If she were to create another Dream Sociomatrix and Sociogram after having worked through the commentaries she would be looking at a different constellation, because she will have grown as a result of practicing deep listening to her various self-aspects.  In essence, the Dream Sociogram graphically depicts how, where, and why she is stuck in pain regarding this particular “dream,” and the commentaries provide recommendations for what to do to get unstuck.  To understand more about the particular placements Cynthia can refer back to the Sociomatrix Commentary, which elaborates or explains why, in many cases, this or that self-aspect had the preferences that it did. Inner help is going to come from those self aspects that are most preferring and most preferred.  That means Cynthia needs to ask, “What parts of myself do Dream Consciousness, Sea Creatures, Ocean, Gulf Stream, and Coasts most closely personify and how can I strengthen their influence in my decision making regarding this life issue?”  “How can I help them to be there when I think, feel, and act around this life issue?”  The answer to the first question is in the Dream Summary Commentary where these self-aspects say what parts of Cynthia they most closely personify.  The answer to the second is in the  Waking and Identification Commentaries.

Predictions/Actual:

Most preferring: Gulf Stream Dream Consciousness

Most rejecting: BP BP

Most preferred character: Sea Creatures Sea Creatures

Most rejected character: BP BP

Most preferred action: Clean up none (but “clean up” least rejected)

Most rejected action: can’t stop pollution kills ocean creatures

Most preferred feeling: ? appalled; in shock

Most rejected feeling: appalled; in shock none

If we know our own minds, then we should be able to accurately predict our preferences.  In this case, Cynthia did better than average.  She was correct for three out of eight: most rejecting, most preferred, and most rejected characters.  However, she did not predict that Dream Consciousness, the part of her greater identity that created the “dream” in the first place, would be by far the most preferring character.  Why not?  She also was unable to predict that there would be no preferred action at all or that “killing ocean creatures” would be the most rejected action.  Why not?  She could not predict that being appalled and in shock would be preferred by the group instead of rejected by them.  Why not?

These are not trivial questions.  Either we know our own minds or we don’t.  If we cannot predict our own preferences, that is no problem when our preferences don’t matter or the preferences in question are insignificant.  But if our preferences do matter and if the preferences in question are significant, then not knowing our own minds is far more than a matter of self-control and self-image; it implies that we really don’t know who we are and have far less control over who we are than we commonly assume in our daily lives.  IDL/Dream Yoga demonstrates all of these points for anyone who wants to evaluate them with their own Dream Sociometric and IDL interviewing protocol experiments.

“What I am saying to myself is…”

Statements from elaborations are rewritten here as “I” statements.

It has to come together like this to show how serious it is, that it’s almost too late.  No more time to fool around, to play games.  It’s high time to stop the madness if we want to more fully live.  I get that I need to stop my greed for all sorts of things: cigarettes, meat, houses, money, fame…

Everybody has dreams for their life that they hope will come true.  Everyone also has fears that those life dreams won’t come true, that instead they will turn into a nightmare of a life.  Why not look at both that dream and the nightmare and do an interview?  There are many ways that could be done with IDL.  One way would be to create a Dream Sociomatrix of the life nightmare and interview several characters from it, write out their preferences, complete the commentaries, and create the Dream Sociogram to depict the results.  Another would be to take the feeling of the life nightmare, allow it to become a color, have it fill the room and congeal into a shape and interview that.  This is the course that we took with the following fun and powerful interview with a fellow with chronic health fears and fear of flying.  Comments follow.

What are three fundamental life issues that you are dealing with now in your life?

1. Organization – I still don’t have a contract

2. My eye doctor is not cooperating.  I have to go to court

3. Trouble with girlfriend.  Arguing about her wanting more attention from me.  I don’t treat her like a girlfriend.

You’re on your deathbed.  You look back at your life and it’s been the fulfillment of all your needs.

The people I love and I stay healthy.  I want two kids who grow up and are happy kids.  I would love to have a job where I have fun and fulfill my dreams and the dreams of my kids.  So that if they want to go play tennis I can afford to get them a coach.  A mate who is a good friend and a great mother.  I am able to travel and go see other countries and cultures without fear of flying or being at a distance without support.  These are the basics that are really life quality.  My parents stay healthy and live a long time.

Now imagine that none of this occurs. In fact, you have terrible luck.  All your worst fears come to pass.  Youre looking back at your life, a complete failure.  Describe what happens.

I can’t laugh at the situation.  It’s too serious.  My parents die early.  My kids have disabilities!  My wife’s a nagging bitch.  I don’t have a regular job so there’s no money for my kids and I feel like I’ve been a lousy father.  I am scared of everything and stay home all the time. I feel terrible – worthless, hopeless, like I’m a failure.  It’s horrible.

What feelings come up for you when you imagine that life nightmare?

Sadness, regret, hurt, anger.

If those feelings had a color (or colors), what would it be?

Dark brown shit color!

Imagine that color filling the space in front of you so that it has depth, height, width, and aliveness.

Now watch that color swirl, congeal, and condense into a shape. Don’t make it take a shape, just watch it and say the first thing that you see or that comes to your mind: An animal? Object? Plant? What?

A huge pile of dog shit!!!!

Now remember how as a child you liked to pretend you were a teachis/her or a doctor?  It’s easy and fun for you to imagine that you are the shape that took form from your color and answer some questions I ask, saying the first thing that comes to your mind.  If you wait too long to answer, that’s not the character answering – that’s YOU trying to figure out the right thing to say!

Huge pile of dog shit, would you please tell me about yourself and what you are doing?

I have a pretty relaaxed life.  I don’t have any control but I get to see a lot of things.  I start as dog food and get to see some of the inner life of a dog.  Then the dog transforms me and I come out after having had a long warm trip.  And then I’m pretty useless!  I can’t be used for fertilizer.

What do you like most about yourself? What are your strengths?

(laughing) I am pretty stupid.  I don’t think much about anything.  I live in the moment.  I don’t worry about the future.  I transform.  I change the way I am and make myself fit every situation.

What do you dislike most about yourself? Do you have weaknesses?  What are they?

No!  I’m happy!  I’m perfect the way I am!

Dog Shit, you are in Tony’s life experience, correct?  He created you, right? What aspect of Tony do you represent or most closely personify?

Tony could learn a lot from me.  I don’t complain because I don’t have any control over my life.  Tony has a lot of fear about life.

Dog Shit, if you could be anywhere you wanted to be and take any form you desired, would you change?  If so, how?

No!  I’m a huge pile of dog shit!  I can’t get any better!

(Continue, answering as the transformed object, if it chose to change.)

Dog Shit, how would you score yourself 0-10, in each of the following six qualities:  confidence, compassion, wisdom, acceptance, inner peace, and witnessing?  Why?

Confidence: 10

Compassion:   1

Wisdom:   1

Acceptance: 10

Inner Peace: 10

Witnessing: 10

Dog Shit, if you scored tens in all six of these qualities, would you be different?  If so, how?

I don’t know if it would change my life so much.  I think I’m not smart enough as dog shit, but I don’t need to be.  If I had a high IQ it wouldn’t improve my life quality, in fact it would reduce it.  I would worry too much. Same with compassion.  People could slip on me and get pissed, but what could I do about it?

How would Tony’s life be different if he/she naturally scored high in all six of these qualities all the time?

It would definitely change his problem with his fears.  He wouldn’t have them any more.  He would live in the moment instead of the past or the future.  I’m pretty relaxed.  I couldn’t change my life anyway.  So why worry?  I accept myself the way I am.  His life quality would be increased.

If you could live Tony’s life for him/her, how would you live it differently?

I don’t have fears and he does.  You can put me on a plane and send me to Africa and I won’t change.  If he could be more like me he could improve his biggest life issue a lot.  And with that, the other issues would take care of themselves.

If you could live this person’s waking life for him/her today, would you handle his three life issues differently?  If so, how?

1.  Organization?  What’s that?  I would be really laid back if I were him!  I don’t think I would be a good model for him because I don’t care!  If he doesn’t care about his appointments and the structure of his day…I’m very lazy!

2. Doctor: I would put a big pile of dog shit on his head!  I would take him to court!  Let’s have some fun!

3. Girlfriend:  I wouldn’t have gotten so far in this relationship if I were Tony.  She would definitely have left me!  When she wanted me to change, I would have said, “You gotta love me the way I am!  Even if I wanted to I couldn’t change.”  I couldn’t try to make promises or lie.      He is a little like me already in that he stands up for himself.  On the other hand, he often changes things to please her even though he doesn’t want to.  Why shouldn’t he if it doesn’t bother him?  But does it make sense?  It’s a never ending story.  You can change things, but it has to lead somewhere.  If the next day she’s complaining about the same old shit, then it doesn’t lead anywhere.

What three life issues would you focus on if you were in charge of his life?

1. When I look at Tony’s life his biggest issue, fear, would be gone.

2. I would be very bad for his job!

I would be very bad for his present relationship.  There is probably a girl out there which is probably dog shit too as a girl, but such girls are hard to find…

If he were to live his life as me and on his deathbed he would look back, he wouldn‘t have spent his life being afraid.  He wouldn’t have spent his life with an intolerant bitch, because such a woman would not stay with me, Dog Shit!  He would be broke, but it would be OK, because I don’t need anything.  As dog shit, I would be a good father!  I am always there!  Oh shit!  Maybe his girlfriend would like him because he’d always be home!

To make his life dream come true,  he should continue to work on getting over his fears.  He should open up his eyes before he marries.  He should not marry his girlfriend because she stresses too much.  Not stressing out is not part of her character.  She will always jump around and say, “Why aren’t you dogshit????”  But I, dog shit, want to chill!

Why do you think that you are in Tony’s life?

I am in his life because I can help him deal with some of his biggest life issues.  I think I can improve his life quality a lot.  I don’t care what other people think of me.

In what life situations would it be most beneficial for Tony to imagine that he is you and act as you would?

It would be good to become me when he gets afraid.  When he gets on a plane he should think he’s me!  If he gets stressed, he can be me!  He shouldn’t be me all the time, but for a few minutes here and there.  If he remembered it would put a smile on his face!  He’s on his way to being a pile of dog shit toward his girlfriend.  He doesn’t change things just because she’s pissed.  He should do it more.  If he does, maybe the problem will be solved by itself, but I don’t know!  Maybe not.

Tony, what have you heard yourself say?

I heard myself say a lot of funny and interesting stuff!  I should be a pile of dog shit sometimes during the day and it will really improve my life quality!  Who would have thought that an hour ago?

Notice that the solution to Tony’s life nightmare was not scoring tens in all six qualities.  Why not?  Why wouldn’t being tens in Wisdom and Compassion bring him a happier life?  Tony and I talked about it and it made sense that he gets himself scared by thinking too much.  It’s more wise for him to not be wise – at least not in the sense of overwhelming himself with thoughts about what might happen in the future.  What has passed for compassion for him has been phony compassion, in that he has shown love in response to pressure and guilt, which is not love at all.  He thinks Dog Shit was telling him, by its low score, that he needs to not worry about making other people happy so much and do a better job at focusing on the other things: accepting himself the way he is, developing inner peace, cultivating the ability to witness, and being confident.  Not only was this interview a lot of fun for Tony; it felt very practical and authentic.

Tony reported that becomiung Dog Shit helped him to sleep when he became anxious while traveling on a business trip.  When he remembered to become Dog Shit when he started getting anxious during business appointments he would immediately relax, laugh at himself, enjoy the situation, and do much better.  He has had trouble becoming Dog Shit with his girlfriend, however.  It told him to turn off his phone during business meetings so that she couldn’t call to check up on him and find out where he was and what he was doing.  He knows that if he did that he would have a major problem when he goes home. This led to a discussion of why we need not only a number of different self-aspects, but other resources, such as a plan and good communication skills.